S09E13 The One Where Monica Sings

 

don't rub my face in your crazy single life.

• rub (sth) in so's face
  : to humiliate so by repeating and criticizing his or her mistake.

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There's an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the interdepartmental pot luck dinner.

• pot luck dinner
  : an informal meal where guests bring a different dish that is then shared with the other guests.

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Last time this adorable old man got up there, forgot all the words, flipped out, everyone booed him off the stage.

• flip out
  : to become extremely angry or to lose control of yourself from surprise or shock.

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I could call in sick and not deal with it at all.

• call in
  : to telephone the place you work
  : you can also call in to a radio or television program or to an organization asking for information from the public.
• call in sick
  : to telephone to say that you are unable to work because of illness.

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Okay, uh, we'll get to the wax in a minute. First, I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok?

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Please, I have an extremely high threshold for..

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Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children.

• illegitimate
  : born of parents not married to each other.
  : not legal

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What are you doing? You know I can only dish it out.

• dish sth out
  : to give or say things to people without thinking about them carefully.

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R : About a month ago, she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
C : Did she go out with him?
R : No, when he called, I threw the message away.
C : Ah, the high road.

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Come on, you don't have to do anything. It'll just be easier if it's the two of us. Like college, remember? First you break the ice with some kind of jokes so they know you're the funny one and then I swoop in with some interesting conversation so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one.

• swoop
  : to move very quickly and easily through the air, especially down from a high position in order to attack.
  : to make a sudden attack on a place or group of people in order to surround and catch them.

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Don't panic. There's a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.

• mace
  : a heavy stick with pointed metal parts on the top, used in the past as a weapon

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You hear keys in the hall and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time.

• bronco
  : a wild horse of the western US
• chute
  : a narrow, steep slope down which objects or people can slide.

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I guess I felt guilty that you were here which I shouldn't. You know, Ross and I are not in a relationship. But he is the father of my child, and you know, we do live together and plus there's just so much history, you know, I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm just all over the place.

• all over the place
  : in or to many different places
  : in an untidy state

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I may be a sissy, but I'll still pound you into the ground.

• sissy
  : (of a boy) weak and not brave, or interested in activities girls usually like

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I earned mine by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business partners".

• pluck
  : to pull something, esp with a sudden movement, in order to remove it.

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Public bathrooms freak me out and I can't even pee let alone do anything else.

• let alone do something
  : and to an even greater degree do something.

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Hey, are you still looking for a job? Cause you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.

• run circles around
  : to greatly outclass or outperform someone in some activity.